For anyone who was reading this blog when I suddenly went silent, I’m back. For those new to this blog, feel free to catch up with me via previous entries.
Anyway…a bit of strolling down Memory Lane suits my mood today.
The date was July 17, 2013. Oh, yeah…BMOC, I thought I had it all figured out.
David Bowie sang it best! “Ch..ch..changes”
I remember riding with Jack to that first meeting with a doctor regarding getting set up for Testosterone shots, talk about serendipity-he turned on the radio and there it was, like some kind of signal from the Cosmos. Like the All of Everything was saying, “Go for it, kid! it’s your turn to shine!”
Here it is now a little over ten years since that first time when I gave myself a shot. Turki Al Rwaita, friend and filmographer was on hand for the experience; we wanted to include it as part of the documentary he was working on regarding my transition
Having had some previous experience with needles a long time ago (in my Junkie days), but in self defense the previous application involved a completely different process. I had been accustomed to the old belt, spoon and rig motief. You know, tie it off, make a bulge and go to town.
The pre-measured tiny ampule, nicely packaged clean syringe, alcohol wipes and skin pop were a completely new ball game for yours truly.
I’ve seen the documentary a few times, and while it’s a bit embarrassing watching the many attempts at self-titration before finally (somehow) achieving the desired injection, I decided to keep these moments in the film.
Why? That’s simple. I’d rather share the attempts and ultimate success in the hope that others who may be facing the same situation will see that it’s ok to try, learn and succeed. It gives others courage when they see what we’ve gone through to get where we are. And if hard work and even sometimes failure is too much to tolerate, dunno what I can say, ‘cos life is full of that stuff.
As for me, the only true failure is when I give up. And I don’t see that happening any time soon.
Aho!
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